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Monday, December 5, 2011

I can't sleep

I know I haven't blogged in a looong time. Tonight, I can't sleep. I lost a good friend (Rebecca) this week and it reminded me so much of when I lost one of my best friends (Melissa) in 2006. As I was laying awake just now I had a song/poem (whatever) pop in my head. So I wrote it down in my journal. Thought I would share it with you:

Where are you now?

Trying to sleep
but my mind won't let me
I keep thinking about
the day that you left me
So I climb out of my bed
Look out my window towards the sky
I gaze up at the stars
and as the tears fill up my eyes
I wonder

Where are you now
and do you ever think about me
I hope that you are happy
Where are you now
are you looking down upon me
or am I too far for you to see

So many nights
I lay awake like this
Playing that phone call over in my head
"She's gone" - - they said
and I fell to my knees
to beg the Lord please
don't let this be true
and I wondered

Where are you now
and do you ever think about me
I hope that you are happy
Where are you now
are you looking down upon me
or am I too far for you to see

I'd give anything
for one more day
for a minute
for a second
just for a chance to say
I love you
I miss you
and I'd ask you

Where are you now

Thursday, March 24, 2011

I DON'T wanna be anything other than ME!!!!

Really feeling this song today!

Way Back Playback!

Don't Let Go - En Vogue

Used to stand in front of the mirror in my room with my sister and pretend we were in EnVogue.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Double Take

My 21 month old and I are playing in the basement while she watches Dora on Netflix when:

Me: "Baby", do you want to go upstairs and play?

Baby: (CLEAR AS DAY) No Mommy I just want to stay and watch Dora.

Me: Come again?

Baby: A blaaaaaaaaaah.

Me: *Shakes head* alrighty

Friday, March 18, 2011

Fraud Alert!!!!!

So I just got a call for the millionth time that was automated and said "Last chance to lower your credit card interest press one to speak to a qualifications officer press 2 and your offer will expire" usually I hit 2 but this time out of curiosity I hit 1 and got a lady very softly and detached saying "qualifications department" so I asked "What company is it that you are calling from?" I hear munch munching on some food in my ear then CLICK...ya...that's what I thought. Who falls for these scams? Seriouisly!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Educate yourself before you decide you are an expert people! Serioulsy!

Ok people...let's just get something straight RIGHT FUCKIN NOW! Yes I was just off work on sick leave for two months. NO I wasn't off having a jolly old time! I was off because I was hospitalized 3 times since August for my asthma! NO asthma is not some pussy thing that they make fun of in the movies because only losers and nerds have it. Asthma is a VERY serious condition the way....CAN kill you. Suddenly people seem to be judging me like I am some dead beat trying to skip out on work, or that I took 2 months to get over a simple cold type illness. Have you ever beeen punched in the stomach and had the wind knocked out of you? Painful right? Imagine that feeling lasted hours, days, weeks or even months. How would you cope? That in a nutshell is what we with asthma suffer through too many times.

Did you know that 500 people die each year in Canada because of asthma? Does this mean everyone with asthma will die because of it? No. It does mean each and everyone of us is at risk at any given time though, depending on environment, stress levels and other things that can contribute to an asthmatic episode. I fyou have an episode in your sleep? Lights out.

So why is it that people take it so lightly?

I am what is classified as a "silent asthmatic". The definition of this is: Silent Asthma; Asthma attacks which give very little or no prior warning and very little wheezing. They are usually severe and can be life-threatening.

Doesn't sound so minor now does it?

There is the link to the Asthma Society of Canada. Those of you who think you know all about asthma despite the fact that you yourself do not suffer from it nor have you ever educated yourself on it? Take the time to read it and be informed before you decide you have your PHD.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

oops! Sorry I neglected you blog!

So, I have totally been neglecting my blog since going back to work. Oopps! My bad! Right now I am on sick leave (have been since the first week of January) because my asthma is out of control. On one had I know I need the time off to get better but on the other hand I am going nuts! I am so bored! I am a social butterfly and part of the reason I enjoy work is the social aspect of it. I feel somewhat like I am on house arrest! The day time can get pretty lonely I won't lie.
Let me just tell you how "wonderful" these sterroids I have to take make me feel. NOT! I feel jittery and anxious and even though my breathing has improved it's not all that great yet. I am going to see my family Doctor today and my respirologist tomorrow. When you have so many appointments you start to feel like a crazy person!
Oh well. What can I do? I know I am off for a good reason but I can't help but feel like somewhat of a douche because of it. I just hope I get better soon because I want to get back to normal life.

No my name ain't baby

No my name ain't baby