I posted this last March in my Facebook notes. It got such a good response I thought I would repost it on here for your reading enjoyment:
Let's talk annoying neighbours...Our new neighbour decideds that, being as it is St. Paddy's day weekend, Sunday would be the optimal day to go out and get smashed with his friends who are 20 years younger than he is.
Around 12:30am they come home SCREAMING and yelling and getting all roudy. Music blars, 90's techno style to boot, with base full pumpin ala Gino style. I FLIPPED OUT! I know this shocks all of you being that normally I am so even keeled *cough cough* but yes it is true, I lost my cool. Steve didn't want me to but I marched my butt over to their house - had to go around the front because they are attached by the side and there is a privacy fence in between- in my plaid pj bottoms and steve's canada hoodie COMPLETE wirth bed head a FURY in my eyes. I banged on the door like a mad woman and rang the bell like 5 million times. They ignored me. Oh shit man this is going to be ugly! I continue to smash the door. I hear a voice inside say "Oh man they are sending the heat!" WTF? The heat? What is this? Miami Vice? This only angers me more. FINALLY the dumb twat opens the door...dumb friend in tow and anotheryapping smart comments in the background.
Me: Really though? Really? You need to shut the hell up.
Ass face Neighbour: Oh...really? (shocked look on his face like he thought they were quiet)
Me: YES really!
Dumb friend in the background: Some incoherent smartass mumbling
Friend at door: Oh ... hee hee
Me: Cuz really? We have to get up at 6am (lies I got up at 7:30...although Steve got up at 5:30)
Ass face Neighbour: Oh ok .
Me: ya cuz this is a recurring situation and I've let it slide before but next time I have NO PROBLEM calling the police and/or the landlord.
Ass face Neighbour: Recurring? Really?
Ass face Neighbour: Oh ya you're right.
Me: Ya...I know I am. Now please kindly shut the fuck up.
Ass face Neighbour: Thanks for coming straight to me I appreciate it...mumble mumble some drunken slurs.
Me: *shakes his hand* thank you and good night.*MARCH MARCH MARCH* back to bed...grrr