Ok so I know I have been majorly slacking in the blogging department. 31 weeks prego now, guess I just have a ton on the go.
In any case, this blog is dedicated to my good friend Jenn. She has been reading all my woes about jackasses who say stupid things to pregnant ladies, and would like to know "What SHOULD you say?". So, Jenn? This one's for you!
I know I've ranted on and on about how people call me huge, and tell me I'm having twins (happend again at Starbucks this past weekend by the way, the barrista asked if I was sure that there was just one in there. Steve witnessed it this time and was boggled). But what things DON'T bug me? Well first of all it doesn't really bother me when people I know well, like friends, family or co-workers comment on the fact that my belly has grown, because, well...it has! Instead of saying "Wow you're huge!" try "Look how much that baby is growing!" then it's not a "YOU are big" it's "the BABY is growing bigger" less of a personal blow. Remember, pregnant ladies are very self conscious because they are not used to the Santa Claus look. It's already hard enough to cope with the dissapearance of your waist without feeling like people are calling you a cow.
How about saying "You look great" or "you are all baby" is also acceptable because then we don't feel so much as if we've visited the fat farm. Pretty much you have to just put yourselves in the shoes of that lady and remember that her body has just completely morphed. She is probably feeling more like a pod than a person at this point, so some friendly compliments or encouragement would do much better than a comment onher size.
Recent studies have found that an astounding number of pregnant women have developed what doctors have coined as "Pregorexia". This is when a woman is SO upset by her changing body and by comments from people that she has "really gotten big" to obsessively monitor her weight gain throughout her pregnancy. Did you know that doctors no longer have the "weight gain during pregnancy" guidelines? It's no longer suggested by (most) doctors that you gain between a certain amount of pounds, simply because each pregnancy is SO different. For example, when I was pregnant with my first child, I gained around 60 pounds! While a lot was, in fact, baby, amniotic fluid, placenta and a bit of fat, a good portion was due to severe edema (water retention). I balooned up so bad in my hands, legs, feet and face that I was hardly recognizable to myself. This time around I have gained only around 30 pounds so far. Mind you, I did start off about 20 pounds heavier this pregnancy than I did with my first. The point, however, is that especially with all the raging hormones going through a pregnant woman's body, weight gain (even for a healthy reason) is still very daunting.
SO, next time you are talking to a pregnant lady friend of yours, tell how fabulous she looks, not how big she's gotten. Go ahead, comment on the baby growing...but keep it to the baby if you can. And people? If you don't know the person? Don't comment. You will just likely end up with your foot (or possibly hers) in your mouth. Better to take the safe road then to be drop kicked by a hormonal mommy-to-be.
Until next time! Thanks for reading!
Nik
In any case, this blog is dedicated to my good friend Jenn. She has been reading all my woes about jackasses who say stupid things to pregnant ladies, and would like to know "What SHOULD you say?". So, Jenn? This one's for you!
I know I've ranted on and on about how people call me huge, and tell me I'm having twins (happend again at Starbucks this past weekend by the way, the barrista asked if I was sure that there was just one in there. Steve witnessed it this time and was boggled). But what things DON'T bug me? Well first of all it doesn't really bother me when people I know well, like friends, family or co-workers comment on the fact that my belly has grown, because, well...it has! Instead of saying "Wow you're huge!" try "Look how much that baby is growing!" then it's not a "YOU are big" it's "the BABY is growing bigger" less of a personal blow. Remember, pregnant ladies are very self conscious because they are not used to the Santa Claus look. It's already hard enough to cope with the dissapearance of your waist without feeling like people are calling you a cow.
How about saying "You look great" or "you are all baby" is also acceptable because then we don't feel so much as if we've visited the fat farm. Pretty much you have to just put yourselves in the shoes of that lady and remember that her body has just completely morphed. She is probably feeling more like a pod than a person at this point, so some friendly compliments or encouragement would do much better than a comment onher size.
Recent studies have found that an astounding number of pregnant women have developed what doctors have coined as "Pregorexia". This is when a woman is SO upset by her changing body and by comments from people that she has "really gotten big" to obsessively monitor her weight gain throughout her pregnancy. Did you know that doctors no longer have the "weight gain during pregnancy" guidelines? It's no longer suggested by (most) doctors that you gain between a certain amount of pounds, simply because each pregnancy is SO different. For example, when I was pregnant with my first child, I gained around 60 pounds! While a lot was, in fact, baby, amniotic fluid, placenta and a bit of fat, a good portion was due to severe edema (water retention). I balooned up so bad in my hands, legs, feet and face that I was hardly recognizable to myself. This time around I have gained only around 30 pounds so far. Mind you, I did start off about 20 pounds heavier this pregnancy than I did with my first. The point, however, is that especially with all the raging hormones going through a pregnant woman's body, weight gain (even for a healthy reason) is still very daunting.
SO, next time you are talking to a pregnant lady friend of yours, tell how fabulous she looks, not how big she's gotten. Go ahead, comment on the baby growing...but keep it to the baby if you can. And people? If you don't know the person? Don't comment. You will just likely end up with your foot (or possibly hers) in your mouth. Better to take the safe road then to be drop kicked by a hormonal mommy-to-be.
Until next time! Thanks for reading!
Nik
Awesome! I've been saying this for months. I have told my husband I am nothing more then a walking talking incubator with no feelings and I'm sick of it.
ReplyDeleteI am 39 weeks, and my last 2 weeks at work I was told "You must be ready to blow any second now! You're huge!" By some guy. We had never spoken before that moment.
Also, "Oh my God! Are you as uncomfortable as you look? You're huge!"
I know I'm huge, I get it. I don't need to be reminded constantly. And yes. I am uncomfortable. The worst part, the woman who said it has 3 kids. She should know better.