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Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Make your OWN damn figgy pudding assholes!!!

Tis' the season to be bitchy. Fa la la la la, la la, fuck you! Every year as the Chrsitmas season begins I have a hard time remembering why, come Christmas day, I am already SO done with the festivities and ready to move on to the boozing of NYE. This year I am documenting it so that, next year, when I wonder again I can just refer back to this.

Our mall had a big "Santa Claus is coming to town" celebration for the first day he would be there for kids to get their pics done with him. I took my 5 year old so she could enjoy the excitment. First mistake. The show was crammed into a small corner of our ridiculously small "mall" and apparently people came from far and wide to enjoy Toopy and Binoo and Santa's arrival. For every child at the show there were also about 4 adults. People brought out mom, dad, gran, gramps, great gran, great gramps and so on. THEN they forget it's REALLY about the kids. There is an area in the front for kids to sit on the floor while they watch, but unless you arrive 6 hours earlier you are never getting to sit there. Then it's standing room from there on back. WELL the people standing in the first row of standing (directly behind CHILDREN sitting on the floor) decided that their children needed to be up on their shoulders so that the kids 10 rows back who really SHOULD be on someone's shoulders can now not even see unless they are hoisted up to the ceiling. The PARENTS are getting mad because THEY not their kids can't see. When did we forget this was SUPPOSED to be for the kids? In fact if I weren't surrounded by small children I probably would have gone all Chuck Norris on the faces of all the idiot parents/grand parents in attendance.
Sitch #2: I am Christmas shopping at Wal-mart (that on it's own is frustrating enough as it is) and about to check out. The girl in front of me at the checkout is with her friends who walk away leaving her to wait on her own, not saying where they are going and knowing full well they are next in line. SO when the cashier gets to her SHE does what any normal person would do, she picks up her stuff and says "I don't know where they are so you might as well go first I will go to the back of the line and wait for them I guess since it's their stuff." WELL!!!! As the cashier starts ringing in my stuff her fucking psychotic friend grabsthe stuff out of the nice girl's hands and waltzes up in front of me and hands the cashier her stuff. She looks at me and says "Honestly! I SO TOLD her I would be right back!" The cashier just looks at her blankly as do I. She says again "Well I told her I would be only 2 minutes." Since Brit was with me I manageed to keep my cool (are we proud?) and said "Well really? Your friend took the stuff and told me to go ahead of her, so I'm sorry but your loss." She knew I was right so instead of telling ME off she FREAKS on her friend. I mean the girl went APE shit. What a fuckin classy broad. There were literally only 2 people behind me in line. Suck it up and learn your lesson. It's not your friend's fault you're a moron!

I'm sure there will be more annoying shit as we are only 17 days away from Christmas. I will keep you posted.

Until then? Is it REALLY too much to ask for a Silent Night?

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No my name ain't baby

No my name ain't baby