Welcome to Cougar Town

So last night was my friend's 30th birthday celebration. We started it out at her cute new house by drinking sangria (which was frikken delish btw) and swapping stories about creepers that come into our various workplaces (of course for confidentiality we omitted their names during story time).
After the sangria was all but gone, we ventured out to a near by hole in the wall pub called Frankie's where we took part in karaoke. We were OUTSTANDING! Paparazzi were lined up down the street waiting to get an interview and fans were lined up down the otherside waiting for autographs. Well...at least in our world they were. We sang Step by Step (nkotb) and straight up (paula abdul) natch. I mean? What else should we sing but the greatest hits of all time? I didn't realize that karaoke was such a SERIOUS thing! I mean I thoroughly enjoy some karaoke don't get me wrong, but some people just think it is like their night job or something! This lady last night was in a SUIT with her luxurious 80's hair in all it's glory, singing and shakin it like it was Hollywood week on American Idol and her place in the competition depended on this very performance! Apparently there is this guy who travels across Ontario singing the same Bob Dylan song at different karaoke bars. I have to say? I have seen him perform...William Hung has more talent. Nuff said!
We then decided it was time to shake out groove thangs, so we ventured off to Jackhammers. Yowzas! There was this one group of girls dancing on the stage? Short Shorts. I'm talkin barely cover your ass shorts. In FEBRUARY! I mean if this were July I probaby wouldn't have thought too much about it, because well...it's hot in July. People were practially having sex on the dance floor.I know, I know... blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol. But really? Is that necessary? AND THEN! The piece de resistance...a girl about my age (almost 30) up on the stage, black wife beater, pink micro mini kilt, black fishnets, big belt, black mesh gloves. Um hello? Madonna called. She wants her outfit from 1982 back please. Thanks for understanding. The best was the DJ shouting "PUT YOUR MOTHER F**KIN ALCOHOL IN THE AIR! YEA BABY!" and flashback...I was at the VIBE circa 2001. All they needed was the loveshack to make it a complete throwback. Wow.
Now I feel old. NOW I feel like a cougar. But you know what? It was SUPER fun! I was with a group of awesome broads and I would do it again!
Good times! Good to get out!
xoxoxo

I just feel the need!

So I've been reading my friend Justin's blog, and I decided that I need one too. Why? Well, really? Because there are too many stupid people and too many stupid thing that I observe on a daily basis NOT to share with y'all.

My first point of business: I am 26 weeks pregnant and about to FREAK on the next person that tells me I'm "quite large for 26 weeks". ALL of these people? Strangers! Mostly clients at my work. What the HELL is wrong with you people?? When you later ask if I am having twins and I say "NO!" don't ask "Are you sure??". No I'm not sure...you're right, the three ultrasounds I've had where they've told me it's ONE healthy baby, are probably ALL wrong! YES! Yes i'm quite fekkin sure! Really though? Who in their right mind tells a complete stranger they are "quite large"? Just because I am pregnant you feel it gives you free reign on my body for commenting? NO!!! Would you walk up to a non prego who was "quite large" and tell THEM? No, no ya wouldn't! I've decided I am going to Karate Kid the next assface that comments on my size.

Also? There's no touching! Unless you know me? You should NOT feel free to rub my belly. I don't care how "cute" or "precious" you think it looks! you won't think I'm so cute or precious when you have my boot up your ass, now will you? Give your heads a shake. Seriously? Seriously. next time I pass a random bald man, should I shine his head? What makes you think these actions differ from one another?

A pre-warning, when I finally have my baby, and you pass me at the mall, or on the street, or wherever? DON'T TOUCH MY BABY! I don't know you. I don't know where you stank ass hands have been. Don't pass your infections on to my child because they are "Too gorgeous NOT to touch"!!! Get a grip people, just GET A GRIP!!!

So that's my first entry for now! I'm sure there will be more to come. Does this crap bug you too, or am I alone on this? Let me know k?

Peace :)
Nikki